the pocket scale

The PocketScale

KevinsPocket, from time to time, may review items, services, stores, programs, apps, or even destinations that you might be considering for YourPocket; and will give them a rating based on the following, easy to use, PocketScale:

The RentedTuxedo:

As with a lot of formal wear; the tuxedo is littered with stuff that’s for showin’, and not for blowin’. In addition to the, ever too commonly, sewn in place pocket square (a SquarePocket indeed,) are many sewn shut, or even worse, fake pockets. Pieces of trim fabric sewn in such a way that suggests the existence of a useful storage location; only to reveal a complete lack there of. The RentedTuxedo is a scam, a pure example of pockets at their worst, and will therefore, rightfully, represent KevinsPocket’s lowest rating.

The SkinnyJeans:

KevinsPocket understands the fact that function can’t always win over fashion for some folks. Yes skinny jeans are often equipped with two to five pockets, which is nothing to take lightly, however these pockets are only useful, and loadable, when the garment is not being worn. Pocket availability? yes… Usefulness of said pockets? None at all… Only making them a slight step above The RentedTuxedo. The SkinnyJeans will represent KevinsPocket’s second to worst rating.

The PhannyPack:

The PhannyPack exemplifies function over fashion at the highest degree. Pure pocket power, that doesn’t try to be anything that it’s not. However, the phannypack’s location (front or rear) can often get in the way of activities that would require an AuxiliaryPocket of such magnitude; making hiking or biking a bit difficult. And so; the PhannyPack will represent KevinsPocket’s middle ground rating.

The FishingHat:

The FishingHat is a super specific gear hauler and is full of tiny pockets and loops for storing items and keeping them at the ready. Unlike the PhannyPack, the FishingHat keeps gear out of the way while keeping it all extremely accessible. These two features are key for all functional gear haulers and rightfully places the FishingHat in the number four slot.

The CargoPants:

The name alone should explain why this lower extremity covering gains KevinsPocket’s highest honor. The available pockets found on cargo pants are noteworthy not only for their pocket quantity, but for pocket quality. External pockets (those that do not require gear to be inside the garment, but suspended on the outside) are the best for hauling things around. Which is why the CargoPants will represent the highest rating on KevinsPockets’s PocketScale.

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